Charlotte and her impact

This blog (one of many) seems to be turning into an annual event to write in! (Smacks own hand). Wow, so much has happened in such a short time.

Last years fundraiser went really well, It was a Rocky Horror homage, and we managed to raise over £600 pounds for Little Miracles. This years cause is one I literally fell upon by chance, and has grown to become something exceptionally dear to my heart.

I was watching documentary’s on Youtube about children fighting their battle with Cancer. The documentary came to the end and autoplay kicked in. I was suddenly watching a young teenage girl, who was vlogging about her fight against Glioblastoma, a hideous and severe form of brain cancer. Her face was beautiful but bare, her hair incredibly short, and her name was Charlotte. This video had been uploaded for the first time by her Mother, after Charlotte sadly passed away. It was unedited and unabashed. It was raw, real and heartbreaking. That was the first time I “met” Charlotte Eades.

As someone who fundraises for cancer charities and is incredibly passionate about raising awareness, I felt compelled to know more, I had followed a link on the video to Charlottes Legacy on Facebook, and Immediately added it, and that was the start of what is yet to become two fundraisers in Charlottes name.

I am also a year in to learning to play guitar, its a long slog as my memory is poor thanks to my pain medication, but I am loving learning and being able to play music properly for the first time. I have had to put my OU course on hold as I am dedicating my time to my fundraising work, and am also looking into the process to start a performing arts school for kids and young adults with disabilities and learning difficulties.

I would love to tell you more, but its early in the morning and I have a load of work to do still today. x

A time passed

It has been a very long time since i wrote here. I tend to find I come here only to write for a reason. Why is it in life, if you’re nice and kind and giving, you get treated badly and used? Yet if you allow your anger and pain to be your fuel, you are given respect? This may be a short passage, (Both in time and written dictation) but tonight I find myself in a quandry. Can happiness ever be achieved by a good and kind heart? Or does fury have to insert itself into life in order to be listened to? I hope not.

A tumultuous, emotional and yet amazing time

For once I am nearly at a loss of words, in how best to describe my thoughts and feelings. Since February when I was first told of my friend Amanda’s diagnosis of breast cancer, I have been spending my time planning a huge scale fundraiser in her honour, to raise money for Cancer Research UK.

Naturally most people will not understand the huge amount of work in doing something like this, or the work and effort that goes on behind the scenes. I managed to organised a spectacular line up of burlesque artists, who gave their time freely for the cause, I choreographed some comedy Burlesque routines for my male friends too that gained many smiles, and was awarded the top act trophy by Amanda. the event itself was managed and run by me and my friends on an amateur level, who all did an excellent job, despite some technical hiccups by the venues musical equipment, and running over time.

The show was received well and it looks like we made a fantastic amount for the charity. We all congratulated and thanked each other, and the next day I gave a large warm thank you to all the artists involved, as some had left earlier and I was stuck in my wheelchair hosting the event and not able to move around much.

Imagine my upset though when I read a post on our wall that ripped into my friends and myself, that was written by the boyfriend of one of the acts, claiming it was all badly run, that no one was thanked. (Which is untrue as I thanked people after each of their acts and it was clear I had limited mobility and a lot of pain.) I hid this from the page while I contacted the chap directly, and was highly shocked by the reaction I received back, but mostly by his statement concerning performers. ” Performers who give their time to charity should be made a fuss of” Now my team worked their tushy’s off checking in with everyone, offering them a drink of squash on arrival, taking them to their seats, letting them know the running order and saying how they could be contacted if any problems arose. I later found out taht this same chap kept barging into the changing area demanding to set up for the act, whilst other female performers where changing. The frustrating part of this is mostly down to not having been spoken to concerning their issues, one performer who accompanied him complained that “I don’t do surprises” During her piece (which was lovely) The tech equipment decided to scramble our playlist. This was NOT down to the person who had volunteered their time to help with the sound. But the thing is no one chose to say anything at the time, and instead chose to broadcast their issues on social media (Surprise surprise) Now I do feel sorry for the problem that occurred as I have had it happen to me while performing, but the nature of a performers life is to be able to adapt and improvise should such problems occur.

I have pointed out whilst apologising to these individuals that this function was a very personal one, and I also have limitations due to my pain condition. Every other person involved has been gracious, thankful and lovely. But when I read the message which progressed into an upsetting converation it had me in tears, as this is such a personal mission to me. It has left me feeling very un confident and judging every part of me, and I feel hurt and angry this is the way, and that no explanation or apology seems to suffice. I just wish they took a second to think about the fact that this was for Amanda and any sufferer of Cancer, and not the time to refer to having not stroked someone’s ego enough.

On the plus side, I made my friend smile ear to ear, and that is what it was all about.

Feeling Guilty

So, I haven’t written for either this or my other website for a very long time and am feeling guilty about it. It isn’t because I don’t want to, it’s just life getting in the way at the moment.

In February one of my best friends was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. As a result I have hauled myself into some serious fundraising for Cancer Research for a multitude of reasons.

1. For my friend who was recently diagnosed.

2. For another of my best friends who lost her Mother unexpectedly before Christmas, to undiagnosed Pancreatic Cancer which was at stage 4.

3. For my own family members who lost their fight to Cancer.

4. For my step Gran who bravely battled Cancer and won.

5. For my own reasons, as I am currently undergoing tests to rule out ovarian cancer.

So as you can imagine, I have been pretty busy as of late, but I will return to writing properly soon when I get some time where I am not frazzled or sewing costumes.

A slow update…

xbeauty-series.jpeg.pagespeed.ic.oPmHS-d2yQSo its been nearly six months since I wrote an update. A lot of this has been due to being exceptionally busy and also working hard (And Passing!) my first open university module YAY! As a result my personal blog has had to take a large backseat, but I have wanted to write a small update for a while now.

Life, although busy has been happily uneventful for most of it. I have been working hard on my OU work, Curious Culture, my home and starting to write a multitude of Murder Mystery scripts for nights in with my friends, which have proved popular enough to have spurned interest for me and my fellow friendling’s to maybe put them on in some local restaurants and pubs. My bestie Hannah has made me utterly proud of her, as she has been accepted into uni to train as a nurse, and is now in her first year. My other friend Catherine or rather “Kit” as I know her has qualified as a staff nurse, and several of my closest friends have completed their degree’s, and two dear friends have finally tied the knot and got married.

On the downside, one of my best friends lost her Mother very suddenly to Cancer, so I have been trying to give her as much of my time as possible, while helping to nurse the broken heart of another friend who is grieving her lost relationship.

For me, life is slowly changing, I have started meditating with a local buddhist group. I am working hard to try to lose the huge amounts of weight that I have put on from my pain killers, and I am concentrating on my home, and trying to get it decorated, working and in order.

Now that winter has hit, I am in a mass of pain and agony from my pain condition, so am not the happiest of bunnies, but all the same trying to look towards the positive. I may not be here all that often able to write, but at least I know that when I do, it is always from the heart, and with good intention.